As a loving and dedicated parent, guardian or educator of a child with autism, two of your concerns are likely communication and social interaction. Every parent wants to help their child learn to talk. Communication is one of those incredibly rewarding experiences, and, of course, we want that joy for every child. So how do we get speech started? Let’s explore unlocking the gift of speech and communication for your child with autism and any child struggling to communicate.
Certainly, many would tell you to work on imitation skills. Imitation is crucial to the process of learning to talk, however, your child may not be ready for imitation.
This blog post is actually the beginning in a series of 7 posts, each focused on 7 developmental skills that I have found helpful in teaching all children to talk and especially kids with autism.
First, your child needs to W I N!
Those 3 letters W – I – N stand for an acronym that I use in analyzing every child with whom I work. “I want your child to WIN” really means: I want your child to be…
Watchful
Intentional
Noisy
Each of those areas is important, and there needs to be a balance between all three. Let’s begin this first post by discussing being Watchful.
Helping a Child become WATCHFUL
A very wise parent once told me, “If a child does not have attention, learning is difficult.” That one comment got me thinking about what we need to do first before expecting a child to imitate, say words, or follow directions. Children need three things to be “watchful” in their world. They need to be able to:
- Watch and interact with a variety of toys and objects in their environment.
- Watch people and the activities they do.
- Shift their attention from objects to people with ease.
In order to learn and communicate effectively with others, children need to be engaged with you – paying attention to your actions, your voice, and your words. That state of “watchfulness” sets the stage for imitation. Children need to show that same “watchful” behavior when engaged with objects, toys, and other items in their environment.
Here are some questions to ask yourself as you observe your child.
- What activities, toys, movements, noises, get your child’s attention? Write a list of them and use them.
- What makes your child laugh or smile? I believe so strongly in the power of joy and laughter. Begin with these activities as they will be the motivators for increasing your child’s desire to stay with an activity.
How do you get a child to “watch” you or “watch” objects?
My easy answer is this: You need to be more interesting than the other distractions in your child’s world. This suggestion is easy to say, but not as easy to put into practice. Here are some thoughts.
- Watch your position: In order for children to be watchful of you, we need to be constantly aware of where we position ourselves when we talk to our children. Keep your body and face down at your child’s level. Occasionally place your hand on your child’s shoulder to get his/her attention. Position will help achieve watchfulness.
- E-E-E-E with your Voice – Entice, Entertain, Exaggerate, and Extend: When you talk to your child, think about how you speak and how exciting your voice sounds. I often put added emphasis on sounds in a word, making the word sound like its meaning. I often extend the vowels in a word or other sounds like m, n, and s in words to give added emphasis to those sounds. The concept of E-E-E-E is really about putting a “natural musical flow” to your speech. The “sing-song” we use when we talk to children is excellent as it draws attention to you and what you are saying.
- E-E-E-E with your Movements – Entice, Entertain, Exaggerate, and Extend your gestures. Think about the types of exaggerated movements you can make to get your child’s visual attention. I always suggest that people practice putting blocks in a container. How many different ways can you put a block in a box? Be creative and then pair your movements with some E-E-E-E in your voice. That will make you more exciting to watch.
- Use motor activities or enclosed spaces: Often I put children in a swing, on a slide, under places like a table or blanket, or standing with them by the sink. Focus on any area that appears to increase a child’s ability to stay with activities.
- What’s the point? Teaching your child to follow a point is very valuable. I encourage parents to do “tours of the house” where you spend time pointing to things so that your child will follow your point. When you are outside and hear different noises such as cars or airplanes, point to them. When you see interesting objects, point to them. Also, when you are performing daily routines around the house, teach your child to put things in particular places by pointing and saying, “Put it right there.” When showing your child a book, you can increase his ability to follow a point by not only pointing to pictures, but tickling them, petting them, knocking on them.
- Be the Giver and Give me your hand: To increase a child’s ability to stay with you in an activity, ask your child to give you his hand and practice giving your child desired objects. Name them, use sound effects, and exaggerated movements as you try to maintain his attention. This physical connection will increase your child’s ability to stay with you and will help to establish eye contact.
A word about eye contact
Eye contact is part of being watchful, but this skill is often very difficult for children with autism. If there are activities where you notice your child looks at you more consistently, keep that activity going. Notice what you are doing to create that engagement with you. Are you using an enticing voice? Are you waiting for your child to initiate doing the activity again? Are you using a predictable phrase like, “Ready, set, go” and saying it with pauses to give your child a chance to look at you?
Some Kids Are Stuck
You may find that some children are stuck on certain objects and cannot shift their attention to other things. With those children, we need to brainstorm how to expand their interest in activities, other objects and toys, and people. These children certainly have great attention, but are limited in the number of activities or objects they tolerate, attend to, and consequently, learn from.
What should we do for a child who is stuck?
I often try to participate with the child when he is interested in that object. For example, if a child is hyper-focused on cars, I may get multiple cars and hide them in my pocket. I will send the cars down a ramp or a tube. I may hide the cars in the child’s sock or shirt so he has to hunt for them. I may sneeze the car off my head. I would do anything silly that helps the child see that those cars can be used in many different ways and, importantly, with people. Attempting to achieve watchfulness and social interaction with their preferred objects is a great place to start.
Some Kids Focus on Very Few Activities, Objects, or People
You may find that some children will flit and flee around the house, with very little staying power for any activity. For those children, finding activities or objects that peak their interest at all is your biggest goal. Sometimes it requires simply trial and error, but following a child’s lead is where I would start.
For example, if a child is walking around the house, I would probably walk around the house with him. I would occasionally sabotage the area by putting something in front of him like a box or pillow to see what he will do. While he is walking, I may place a scarf on his head to get a reaction. I may play a chase game with him, or better yet, a catch game. I would consistently sing a simple song like, “I’m gonna catch you. I’m gonna catch you. I’m gonna catch you. 1 -2 – CATCH!” Catch him and say, “I caught you. Ready, Set Go!” See if he starts enjoying this activity.
Start with Motor Activities combined with a song or simple phrase
The Catch Game is certainly a great place to start. Additional motor games could be swinging your child in a swing and facing him as you push. Stop the swing intermittently, perhaps sing a simple song such as, “Sam is swinging. Sam is swinging. Sam is swinging. Now he STOPS!” Then wait briefly and say the phrase, “Ready, Set, Go!” to start the swinging again. Unlocking the gift of speech and communication for your child with autism can often be started with enjoyable motor activities combined with songs.
Why is singing a song helpful during these activities?
That’s a very good question, and there are many reasons. If you are interested in songs for speech and language learning, go here to listen to song samples, titles, and goals of each song.
- First, children with autism are helped by predictability. When children know what to expect, they can relax and stay with the activity. Songs help with that predictability.
- Using the same song or phrase every time with that activity helps the child understand the words associated with those actions. Before children talk, understanding words and phrases is vital.
- Children need to hear words many times before they ever start saying the word themselves. Putting music to words typically increases attention and staying power. When kids stay in an activity longer, they are more likely to start saying the words.
Think of how you can increase your child’s attention for every daily routine.
Every daily routine like getting dressed, brushing teeth, eating, playing with toys and people, outdoor activities such as going to the park, reading books, bath time, diaper changing, etc., are all valuable times to increase a child’s ability to be Watchful. Keeping the activities consistent, saying words and phrases that are predictable, and giving your child a job for each routine will help your child be watchful and an active participant with you. Think about the words you say and how you say them. Wait for your child to respond or react to what you are doing. Sometimes, we go too fast and don’t allow the child time to interact. Unlocking the gift of speech and communication for your child with autism and any child struggling to communicate starts with your daily routines.
Conclusion
Helping your child with autism become more Watchful is the first step in developing speech and language skills. Watchfulness is the first of 7 developmental skills that I will discuss in helping children with autism and any child who is showing speech and language delay. If you are interested in more suggestions on how to help your child, check out my WE CAN TALK book. This book discusses 9 techniques to use to support children with speech and language delay.